After a while, I just accepted this and gave up trying to please Angel in other ways. Angel ran a boutique across town and I had my job at the office...downtown so we never considered living together. Ours was strictly a weekend relationship Angel had a place out in the country, high on a hill with a swimming pool/patio overlooking the bay when one could see, but not be seen. We spent glorious weekends up there and I swear, Angel took my dick in her mouth the moment I walked through the door. Compared to them, I’m broken, and these tumors are the proof. I have felt the bite of a blade to try and cancel out my inner pain with outer pain. I have felt my sanity ripped away by years of sadness. Depression is more than sadness. It is the inability to feel joy. It’s a missing foundation, like a building with a sinkhole where its fourth cornerstone should be. No matter what you use to try and support the building, it’ll fall away, and the building can never stand, until it too crumbles and. More

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