" Everyone laughed. "Crash and I have come awfully damn close, mind you, but I'm not quite ready." Good."Mo asked, "So how do you know that you're rea...y?" Oh, that's easy," said Sophia. "Make sure you want, really want to do it. That you're not doing it to make him happy, or because he begs you to, or because you figure what the hell, or because you think all your friends are doing it and you're falling behind. When you say to yourself, 'I want this, it feels right' with no hesitation, no. Rage flashed like lightning in my mind. Shame crashed like a stormy sea on the rocks of my self-control. My pain roared like a howling gale. On reflex, I grabbed the rum and coke, poured another mouthful down my throat. The alcohol hit my system. It dampened my rage but it didn’t stop the crash of my shame.Janice could see all of this on my face. I was never good at hiding my emotions, certainly not from a lover who knows my secrets. She could tell how I felt, and she didn’t stop. She didn’t. More

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