I have never resorted to self harm in the usual way. I don’t cut myself, I don’t put myself in danger, but I crave pain.But, suggest to me that I ...pend all night hanging by my wrists, and I will do it, regardless of the fact I would suffer afterwards.Tell me you want to beat the shit out of me, and I will let you. I wont fight back, as long as you hurt me.That, basically, is who I am.But back to that night.I decided, as it was winter, that maybe a night in the snow would be good. The forecast. .I did have a friend growing up we did dress together but never experimented with each other,it was always on my mind,i absolutely do love women and only the sex part of men,some years went by I didn't dress and got married in my early 20's to a older woman,buying her stockings and corsets,but she didn't really care to wear them,which really was a bummer,so I started wearing them, more and more,she never knew,then the internet came out, and I was sober at the time,so I started learning to chat. More

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